Different Offerings of Prayer at St. James'

For several years, St. James’ has had a strong commitment to the power of prayer. One way we have expressed that commitment is by including the general prayers of the people in every service, where we pray for the world, the church, our lives, for those who are sick and those who have died in our services. During the Prayers you are invited to offer your own names out loud or held silently in your heart.

Recently we began to offer a prayer parish list in which people are invited to put either their name or someone else’s name (with their permission) on our weekly prayer list, which is printed in the Sunday insert. You are invited to take this list home and use it in your daily, private prayers.

To place someone on the prayer list, please email their name to prayer@stjameshawaii.org.

Names will remain on the prayer list for 4 weeks, then you will need to have the name re-added if desired.

Sometime ago St. James’ began a tradition of inviting forward those who wish prayers of thanksgiving for something good that has happened in their life. It is a powerful moment in our liturgy as we lift one another up to God. At the appointed time in the service, the priest invites those forward who have something for which they wish to give thanks. The clergy offers a prayer of thanksgiving on behalf of the congregation.

It is quite moving and leads us into the Celebration of Great Thanksgiving where we give thanks for the greatest gift God has given to us and all of humanity, the gift of salvation and grace to sustain us on our spiritual journey by means of the Sacraments and community.

Caring for those grieving

Several members of our parish 'ohana are grieving. Here are some helpful points to remember when reaching out:

• Don’t let fears about saying or doing the wrong thing stop you from reaching out.
• Let your grieving loved one know that you’re there to listen.
• Understand that everyone grieves differently and for different lengths of time.
• Offer to help in practical ways.
• Maintain your support after the funeral.

From the article, “Helping someone who is grieving.” 

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/helping-someone-who-is-grieving.htm

One way to help someone grieving is to reach out with a note of sympathy or a phone call. If you do not have a parish directory, please contact the parish office.

What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say

Have you ever had someone say something to you during a difficult situation that you know was said with good intent, but it came across as hurtful or uncomfortable? How something is said can make all the difference. It can be challenging to know what to say when someone is very ill. Below are tips on what to say, and what not to say:

What to Say

• I have been thinking about you.
• You have been on my mind.
• It’s OK to rest.
• I’m right here with you.
• Rest if you need to.
• It’s OK to close your eyes if you are sleepy.
• It’s OK to cry.

If you are struggling with what to say when your visit is over, instead of saying ‘I’ll see you next week,” say “until next time” or ”until we see each other again.”

What to Say to a Family Member

• He/she is so fortunate to have you.
• You are doing a great job caring for your _______.

What Not to Say

• Things will get better.
• My brother had this same disease, and he died within six months, etc.
• If you just eat a little something, you will feel better.
• This is God’s will/plan.
• God never gives a person more than they can handle.
• Everything will be OK.

Sitting in silence with your loved one may be all they need. Many times the person is comforted by just having someone present.